According to Skaistė, people working in medicine should better understand what mental health is and what challenges people experiencing difficulties face. Instead of blindly “diagnosing” a disorder and stigmatizing medication use.
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With Skaistė’s permission, we share her post from her personal Facebook account.
“I want to share my experience. This week I had a scheduled surgery. Before it, an anesthesiologist came to the ward – a middle-aged woman. And, to be honest, it was her attitude that surprised me the most.
She started asking about the medications I take. I don’t hide it – I take antidepressants in small doses for panic attacks, which sometimes start when traveling, entering an unfamiliar environment, or simply in situations where I feel uncomfortable.
And then it began…
– Why do you need them? You are such a wonderful woman! You don’t look like someone suffering from depression at all!
I try to explain that I don’t have depression. That the medication helps me control panic attacks.
But she continued:
– Psychologists prescribe medications, I know patients demand it…
I told her:
– Psychologists cannot prescribe medications. As a medical professional, you should probably know that.
And she said to me:
– I’m not a gynecologist either, but I know how to deliver babies.
At that moment, I realized the discussion could be very long, but I simply said:
– Well, I definitely wouldn’t give birth with you.
And this is not even about our different views. This whole conversation took place next to another patient. Just that, in my opinion, was enough reason to question professional ethics. I even said I didn’t want her to be my anesthesiologist because I was simply afraid of her.
But the story didn’t end there. When I said that these medications are necessary for me to be able to travel, experience life, and not fear situations where a panic attack might occur, she offered a very “simple” solution:
– Then don’t travel.
And then I started laughing. Not because the situation was funny, but because I became curious about how far one could go with such an attitude.
What about family members? Don’t they have to suffer because of it? Should a person with certain difficulties just reduce their life to a minimum? Not travel. Not experience. Not try. Not live as they want.
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I chose a different path. The discussion lasted quite a while and was not related to the scheduled surgery.
As she was leaving, the anesthesiologist also said:
– You are such a woman that it’s even embarrassing to stand in front of you with unwashed hair… And you talk about depression. You don’t look like someone with it at all.
I took this part as a compliment. But at the same time, I thought about how strongly we still follow stereotypes.
A person taking antidepressants is not necessarily sad, broken, neglected, or “looking like someone with depression.” Likewise, a person who smiles, works, travels, creates, loves, and lives an active life does not necessarily have no difficulties.
And, honestly, I was very glad when another anesthesiologist met me in the operating room.
And when I returned to the ward, I learned one more thing – all four women in our ward had taken antidepressants at some point in their lives.
And then I thought again: yes, this is a problem of our time. The pace of life, anxiety, panic attacks, burnout, constant tension… All of this exists. But medication for some people is not a sign of weakness. Sometimes it is simply help.
Help so that a person can not only “function” but also live a quality life. To be able to travel. To love. To work. To laugh. To make plans. To go to unfamiliar places. And, most importantly, not to give up on life just because at some point they needed help.
Maybe we should judge a person’s well-being less by how they look.”
This post by Skaistė was shared in Lithuanian medical groups, which sparked considerable discussion. Alongside comments accusing the woman of “fantasies” and “fabrication,” there are also those agreeing that medical institutions still lack understanding of mental health, and that many tactless and unethical remarks are made to patients and even colleagues.
According to Skaistė, she decided to share her experience publicly not out of a desire to accuse anyone. “It’s just obvious that people have little understanding of psychological problems and comment according to their competence. If my sharing helps change the attitude of even a part of people, it will be good,” the woman said.
