Etiquette consultant and modern etiquette expert August Abbott states that although this gesture comes from good intentions, most waiters would prefer that customers do not do it.
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“Most waiters say: ‘Please don’t do that, but thank you for the good intentions,’” A. Abbott told Parade magazine.
Why shouldn’t you stack plates on top of each other?
According to the etiquette expert, every waiter has their own work system, so plates stacked by customers can only make the job harder.
“Waiters have their routine, work method, and duty to clear dishes. When customers stack them, this order is disrupted,” she explains.
Moreover, such an action can be misunderstood.
A waiter might think that the customer didn’t like something, is in a hurry, or is dissatisfied with the service. Even more – stacked plates hide another important signal that restaurant staff often watch for – the position of the cutlery on the table.
How to show that you have finished eating?
According to A. Abbott, the best way to let the waiter know that the meal is finished is to properly place the knife and fork on the plate.
American etiquette rules recommend placing the knife and fork next to each other so that their handles point roughly to four o’clock, and the knife blade and fork tines point to the center of the plate.
In European etiquette, the rules differ slightly. Between bites, the knife is placed roughly at four o’clock, and the fork at eight o’clock, tines down. When finished eating, the fork is also left tines down.
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However, the expert emphasizes that not all restaurants train their staff to recognize these signals. In fast food or informal dining places, it is usually enough to simply place the cutlery on an almost empty plate – this already allows understanding that the customer has finished eating.
She also advises not to leave the napkin on the plate. Instead, it should be placed to the left of the plate, where the fork originally lay.
Five more restaurant behavior habits that annoy etiquette experts
A. Abbott also highlights more common mistakes.
1. Excessive dish modifications. Small changes due to allergies or personal preferences are acceptable, but essentially remaking the entire dish is not polite. For example, ordering a beef dish but asking for fish instead, a different side dish, and a double portion of salad.
2. Lack of supervision of children. Children are welcome in restaurants, but parents should ensure they do not run between tables. This poses a danger to both staff and other guests and spoils their experience.
3. Arriving just before the restaurant closes. Ordering dinner a few minutes before closing time is disrespectful to the kitchen and serving staff.
4. Sitting at an uncleared table. This forces staff to rush to clean the table around already seated customers and can give the impression that the person feels entitled more than others. It is better to wait or choose a table that is already cleaned.
5. Disrespectful behavior towards waiters. The expert urges avoiding flirting, touching, or personal questions. Waiters do one of the most challenging jobs, constantly interacting with people, so they deserve respect and polite behavior.
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