Holidays are associated with relaxation for many, but it is precisely then that tension sometimes becomes most apparent. The National Well-being Index (NSI) study initiated by “Eurovaistinė” shows that almost 4 out of 10 residents feel stress in everyday life, and for every third stressed resident, relationships – in the family, couple, or circle of friends – are the source of tension, according to the pharmacy’s press release.
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The study also showed that many factors affect overall well-being: sleep quality, fatigue, physical health, anxiety, financial situation, personal relationships, lack of time.
“On a trip, these factors often come together at once: sleep patterns change, we walk more kilometers, spend more time together, and count expenses more often. Therefore, when talking about good well-being, we must also talk about balance – not only between work and rest but also between togetherness and time for oneself, planning and flexibility. Education about emotional health is also important here: the better we understand our reactions, boundaries, and needs, the easier it is to take care of ourselves and maintain a calmer connection with loved ones,” says Eglė Laskauskaitė, a pharmacy expert.
Why do we get along at home but not on a trip?
According to psychotherapist D. Jakučionis, it should not be surprising that even harmonious families start to spark on a trip – the conditions under which relationships operate simply change.
“At home, there is a place for small things to ‘drain off’ – you can ignore them, retreat to your own space. On a trip, when we are together all the time, it becomes much harder to distance yourself. Moreover, on vacation, everything is done together, decisions are made so that it is good for everyone, so the needs of one family member may remain unmet. This is where irritation comes from,” explains the specialist.
It also contributes that the routine, which creates a sense of security in everyday life, collapses on a trip: sleep patterns, diet, daily structure are disrupted. “If people are hungry, tired, overwhelmed by impressions and noise, the threshold for anger tolerance drops – it becomes much easier to get angry,” says D. Jakučionis.
Another reason is expectations. Holidays are planned and imagined for a long time, so when reality falls short of them, disappointment arises, often accompanied by irritability. Finally, the psychotherapist reminds, arguments over small things are rarely just about small things: “If at home it was possible to ‘escape’ into your own space from tension, it is difficult to do so on a trip – and sometimes old, unspoken grievances come out.”
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Homework before the trip
According to D. Jakučionis, most travel conflicts can be “disarmed” even before departure. Therefore, at home, he suggests not only packing suitcases but also:
- Discuss expectations. Ask each other: “What is most important to you on this trip?” Different desires – rest, adventure, or the pool – are completely normal; it is important to coordinate them in advance.
- Do not plan everything to the minute. Leave time reserves – better one activity per day than three and the whole family being exhausted.
- Include one thing for each family member in the plan. When everyone knows that their chosen activity will be included in the plan, tension decreases significantly.
- Agree on a minimum standard. Let a successful day be one when everyone has eaten, rested, and experienced at least one good moment. All other good things are a bonus.
Do not forget the need for personal space on the trip
Another common mistake is to think that everyone must do everything together during the holidays. According to the psychotherapist, the need to be alone for a while does not mean coldness or relationship problems at all.
“It is normal to want to be quiet, walk alone – this is not rejection but self-care. It is much better to agree at home that time for oneself on the trip is allowed and acceptable. It is also worth planning time for yourself in advance so that you do not have to ‘fight for it’ during the trip,” advises D. Jakučionis.
He suggests having a neutral phrase, for example: “I’m going to ‘recharge,’ I’ll be back in an hour.” It does not accuse others and clearly shows that the person is not angry at loved ones but simply wants to withdraw briefly and regain strength.
What to do when everyone is already tired?
If tension still lingers in the air during the trip, the psychotherapist suggests first taking care of the body: food, water, rest, less noise. His rule is simple – do not sort out relationships when hungry.
“When a conflict flares up, the sequence ‘pause – acknowledgment – smaller plan’ helps. For example: ‘We are tired. Sorry. Let’s do less today.’ It is important to remember that we are one team – we are together against stress, not against each other. By the way, it is even beneficial for children to see that parents can argue and reconcile – this teaches them that conflicts are not the end of the world and can be resolved,” the specialist says.
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