In a post, which she also shared with the Žmonės.lt portal, Gabrielė reveals that although there are many difficult moments and fatigue, most of them are overshadowed by small, beautiful things.
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“I would like to say that the second month was easier, but a more accurate answer would be – it didn’t get easier, you just gradually learn to cope with everything. To cope with crying that seems to never end, with feeding challenges, with lack of sleep, with your own emotions – essentially, with everything that happens. It seems that with each day you get to know your child better, you understand why they are crying and you know how to help. But one day everything turns upside down and you get to know them anew, because what worked yesterday, no longer works today. And this only shows how much you are capable of – even when it seems like you no longer know or can do anything, you still find a solution, even if sometimes you go through all possible emotional rollercoasters to get there.
At that moment, you think that maybe you are doing something wrong, but in reality, you are doing everything you can do best. There is simply NO single right way. It is NORMAL for a baby of this age not to have a rhythm and routine. There is no need to push or expect too much. It’s just sometimes hard not to let bad thoughts overshadow beautiful moments and not to undervalue yourself. Although you understand all this, sometimes those thoughts still take over. Therefore, it is important to have someone nearby to remind you that everything is okay, and feeling what you feel is also okay. Although sometimes it’s hard to believe, and saying “everything will be okay” doesn’t always help – in reality, everything will be okay, even if it doesn’t seem so now,” Gabrielė said.
Doesn’t understand one thing
Writing, she also reflected on the daily lives of mothers raising more than one child.
“Now I’m putting these thoughts together while bouncing on a ball and holding a nearly sleeping Herkus in my arms, knowing that in about half an hour I should express milk, but I don’t know if I’ll succeed. Maybe at that moment he’ll cry so much that the only way to calm him down is to hold him. And doing both things at once is much more difficult. But you just take it and do it, because you have to. And suddenly everything that seems impossible becomes possible. That’s how I could describe
motherhood. And mothers with more than one child now seem simply cosmic to me. HOW?” she asked.
However, G. Žvagulė does not hide the fact that although it may seem that there are more difficulties than beautiful moments, the reality is different.
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“Based on what I’ve already written, it might seem that there are more difficulties than beautiful moments. But there are an insane number of them, especially comparing the first month to the second. Finally, you can see a smile that is no longer involuntary – it gets wider every day and there are more and more of them. I can’t even tell you about the interesting, tear-inducing facial expressions, because they
simply cannot be described. That gaze, which used to seem directed nowhere, has now become so deep and attentive. It seems that every action becomes more conscious, and with that,
I myself become more conscious.
Even though sometimes my legs give way and my arms drop, I still stand up and remind myself of the important work I am doing. Yes – I boldly call it work. Some will say it’s a duty, and I partly agree, having a child, caring for them is a duty, but also the most meaningful work. Even after working a truly meaningful job for the past few years and wondering where else I could find more meaning – I found it here.
Even if sometimes I feel differently, it doesn’t mean that the meaning is gone – it just hid for a moment and is waiting for another smile to remind me of everything,” she adds.
Later, Gabrielė also spoke about the third month, but briefly this time.
“I didn’t forget the third month, I skipped it consciously!
This time I won’t elaborate much, I just really want to say that it will get easier, it WILL definitely get easier. For some, relief comes sooner, for others later, but it does come,” G. Žvagulė wrote on Instagram.
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