Commentators’ opinions were divided. Some condemned the mother and explained that the child’s personal boundaries were being crossed, while others argued that this is a natural expression of closeness and love between mother and child.
Read more Hungary stops the operation of the nuclear power plant due to the Danube water level
Sexologist and couples therapist Jokūbas Bartkūnas also shared his opinion about this on his Facebook page. With his permission, the comment is shared by 15min Life.
“What does practice show? A brief kiss on the lips between parents and a small child is not considered psychological or sexual harm in itself. There is no evidence that such behavior alone would cause trauma or have negative consequences for the child’s development. In some families, this is a usual expression of love, in others – completely unacceptable. However, I would say that the child’s age and boundaries are important.
Up to about 3–5 years old, children usually perceive physical closeness very simply – as safety, love, and attachment. At this age, a brief kiss on the lips is not unusual if it arises naturally and the child feels comfortable.
As the child grows, especially in school age, a clearer understanding of privacy and body boundaries begins to form. Then it is important to observe the child itself. If they no longer want to be kissed on the lips, their choice should be respected without any pressure or blame.
In adolescence, most specialists would already recommend moving to other forms of closeness – hugs, kisses on the cheek or forehead. This better corresponds to the developing adolescent’s independence and personal boundaries.
Speaking about mother and father, there is no essential difference here, although in discussions under the mentioned video I saw that some treat it very differently and say that the father should choose more intense forms of closeness.
Read more ES ministers prepare an urgent meeting on migrants in Ceuta
If the situation is identical, science does not state that a mother’s kiss on the lips would be inherently more acceptable than a father’s. However, different stereotypes exist in society – a father’s behavior is more often interpreted suspiciously, although there is no scientific basis for this just because of gender.
What should be evaluated is not the gender of the father or mother, but the nature of the behavior, the child’s well-being, respect for boundaries, and the overall context of the relationship.
My recommendation as a sexologist would be quite simple. Although a brief kiss on the lips to a small child is not considered harmful in itself, it is usually more beneficial to cultivate other ways of closeness from the first days of life.
Hugs, kisses on the forehead or cheek also convey love but at the same time help to more clearly form the child’s understanding of body boundaries and consent. Also healthier from a hygienic point of view.
The most important rule – a child should never be forced to kiss or otherwise show physical closeness if they do not want to. Respecting the child’s boundaries is one of the most important factors for healthy psychological and sexual development.
Read more Erika Umbrasaitė came face to face with death: «I could have ended up in the morgue»
