But does such a drive really help to cope with emotions, or is it sometimes just an attempt to escape from problems?
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According to psychotherapist R. Andrikienė, after conflictual or emotionally difficult situations, people often simply look for a way to calm down.
“A person basically lets off steam. On the one hand, they withdraw from the conflict and do not deepen it. This can be good if later they calmly return and clarify the situation,” says the specialist.
However, just leaving is not enough.
“It is important whether the person returns and solves the problem, or just pretends that nothing happened. If the conflict remains unresolved, such a drive becomes an escape from the situation,” explains R. Andrikienė.
The car becomes a safe space
The interlocutor believes that people are attracted not so much by the driving itself, but by how they feel behind the wheel.
“In the car, a person has their own space. There is their order, their music, their route. They can be alone and no one disturbs or controls them,” she says.
According to her, while driving, a person less often gets stuck in unpleasant thoughts because attention is directed to familiar actions and the road.
“Hands and feet work, attention is focused on the road, and driving is already an automatic process for many. Such processes calm down. Running, coloring, or other repetitive activities work similarly,” explains the psychotherapist.
The changing environment also contributes to calming down.
“The views change, you can listen to music loudly or even sing, cry, scream, basically be alone – without the judgment of others. Such opportunities are often not available at home,” she says.
Children learn from what they see
However, the specialist emphasizes that not only the decision to temporarily withdraw from the conflict is important, but also how it looks in the eyes of children.
“If children constantly see that when a conflict arises one of the parents slams the door and leaves, they may learn that problems are solved not by talking but by withdrawing,” notes R. Andrikienė.
According to her, it is important for children to see not only that adults can stop and calm down but also how they later resolve disagreements. The conversation after the conflict becomes an important lesson on how to behave in difficult situations.
Why not a walk?
Asked how driving differs from walking, the interlocutor emphasizes the aspect of control and privacy.
“When you go for a walk, you are in a public space. You may meet acquaintances, you feel visible. In the car, a person remains in their territory. It is a safe space where you can be who you are,” says R. Andrikienė.
She says the feeling of control is also important here.
“My car, my music, my route. I decide where to go and when to stop. For a person whose life is full of chaos or responsibilities, such a feeling of control can be very important.”
The psychotherapist points out that it is precisely in the car that many people experience a kind of feeling of freedom.
“You sit behind the wheel and it seems that all roads are yours. When else in everyday life do we have so much freedom to choose a direction?” she wonders.
The angrier, the farther they drive?
The psychotherapist jokes that sometimes you can judge a person’s emotional state by the duration of the drive.
“You can probably understand how angry a person is. The more tension, the often longer the route,” she says.
She adds later: “Usually, people who assign themselves a lot of responsibilities behave this way. They try to be caring, responsible, and keep up with everything. When it all becomes too much, there is a desire to escape from it at least for a short time.”
Can such an escape be dangerous?
R. Andrikienė does not hide that driving while very angry is not the best decision.
“If a person sits behind the wheel in an affective state, of course, it is dangerous. At such a moment, it can be harder to concentrate, and there is a greater risk of making rash decisions,” she says.
Sometimes it is even beneficial
However, the psychotherapist does not think that driving alone is inherently a bad thing.
“If a person drives for an hour after work, organizes their thoughts, and returns home calmer, it can act as a kind of meditation,” she says.
According to R. Andrikienė, people escape tension in very different ways.
“A person can go for a drive, or they can sit at home and scroll through their phone for hours. In both cases, the problem remains unresolved, but driving at least reduces the accumulated tension,” says R. Andrikienė.
According to her, driving often provides more benefits than endless social media browsing.
“While driving, a person changes the environment, spends time with their thoughts, allows the body to relax. Scrolling more often just leads to distraction, not dealing with what is happening inside,” explains the psychotherapist.
In her opinion, the most important thing is not the activity itself but what happens afterward.
“If you went out, calmed down, and return to solve problems, it can be a very healthy way to cope with emotions. If you only run away from difficulties and change nothing, in the long run, it will not help.”
A person needs to be with themselves
Asked whether driving without a purpose can become an addiction, R. Andrikienė answers cautiously.
“Everything can theoretically become an addiction, but more often we are talking about the need to be with oneself. Today we live at a very fast pace, so people need time to stop and organize their thoughts.”
According to her, longer trips often become a time when many can organize their thoughts.
“When the body works automatically and the mind is not overloaded, there is space for thoughts. For many people, the best ideas are born precisely while driving,” she says.
According to R. Andrikienė, driving itself is not the problem. The most important thing is what happens after returning.
“If the drive helps to calm down and return to problem-solving, it can be very useful. If it becomes a constant escape from life, it is worth asking yourself what you really want to run away from.”
In other words, the car can become both a refuge and a hiding place. The difference lies in whether the person takes action to solve what they temporarily escaped from upon returning.
