This one-sided open marriage, also called a mono-polyamorous dynamic, according to the couple, suits them perfectly, although from the outside it often seems contradictory or hard to understand.
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Karla says: “My husband is monogamous, and I am polyamorous, and we had to create a dynamic that respects that.” She also explains that she relates to the idea of “relationship anarchy,” where the most important thing is not the hierarchy of relationships, but the freedom of people to define for themselves what relationships mean to them.
This couple started developing this model in 2022, after many open conversations and attempts to abandon traditional relationship frameworks that no longer matched their real life, writes The New York Post.
Although at first glance such an arrangement may seem chaotic, Karla emphasizes that it is based on constant communication and awareness. She admits that jealousy still sometimes arises because “if you love someone, you are human, and those emotions are natural,” but according to Karla, they are not ignored or hidden.
“These feelings are usually resolved through communication, not avoidance,” she says, emphasizing that their relationship requires more emotional openness than many traditional marriages.
Still, Karla says she often faces misunderstanding from those around her. She says people tend to think that such relationships are automatically unstable or less valuable, but she disagrees. According to her, there are clear double standards in society because “it is often normalized when men have multiple partners, while women who openly explore their sexuality or polyamory are judged much more harshly.”
She also emphasizes that “my husband does not control me, and I do not hide who I am to maintain a traditional marriage image. We create relationships based on choice, trust, and honesty, not strict gender roles.”
Karla also says that people often misinterpret their situation, thinking that her husband must be unhappy or that she herself is unable to commit. According to her, “neither of these things is true.”
Relationship experts add that such asymmetrical open marriages are not entirely new phenomena, but it is precisely their uneven structure that often provokes strong reactions.
As explained by relationship and intimacy specialist Ruby Rare, there still exists in society an “archaic double standard,” where stricter monogamy rules apply to women, while men are given more freedom.
This topic is complemented by broader cultural discussions about the so-called “manosphere,” where some influencers claim that “high-value men” should not be monogamous, and their partners should remain faithful.
Relationship educators oppose this view, stating that “it is not healthy if one person can have multiple partners and the other cannot,” because the essence of polyamory is mutual freedom and autonomy.
Discussions often mention the phenomenon of “compersion” – an emotional feeling when a person can feel joy or even arousal because their partner is experiencing pleasure with another person. Some people, including Karla’s husband, can experience this, although for many it still seems unusual or hard to understand.
However, specialists emphasize that such relationships must be chosen for the right reasons. Relationship therapist Anna Elton says: “I always ask whether this change in the relationship is their growth or an attempt to protect against loss.”
She also adds that healthy relationships should strengthen both partners, not make one smaller so that the relationship can survive.
On internet forums, according to her, you can often see people who chose this model not out of freedom but out of fear of losing their partner. In such cases, as specialists note, relationships often become emotionally unequal and cause a lot of internal tension.
