Here is what, based on research and expert opinion, we know about how often married couples have sex.
But first, an important note: “A normal frequency of sexual activity is determined by what the couple themselves consider mutually satisfying,” says sexologist Shamyra Howard.
She also adds: “The frequency of sexual intercourse is not an indicator of sexual satisfaction,” writes MindBodyGreen.
How many times on average do couples have sex per week?
According to 2018 General Social Survey data, involving about 660 married people who shared information about how often they had sex in the past year:
- 25% had sex once a week;
- 16% had sex two to three times a week;
- 5% had sex four or more times a week;
- 17% had sex once a month;
- 19% had sex two to three times a month;
- 10% had no sexual intercourse in the past year;
- 7% had sex about once or twice in the past year.
Other studies showed similar numbers. A multi-year study of 35,000 Brits in 2019 found that about half of people in serious relationships have sex less than once a week.
How often do married couples have sex by age
In 2013, AARP published a study in which sociologists Pepper Schwartz and James Witte examined more than 8,000 people over 50 years old. The study showed:
- 31% of couples have sex several times a week;
- 28% of couples have sex several times a month;
- 8% of couples have sex once a month;
- 33% of couples rarely or never had sex.
Among people in their eighth decade of life (70–79 years), a 2015 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior showed that:
- 33% of sexually active men and
- 36% of sexually active women
had sex at least twice a month.
Among people in their ninth decade of life (80–89 years):
- 19% of sexually active men and
- 32% of sexually active women
had sex at least twice a month.
According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, the 2010 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior found that nearly 25% of women in couples over 70 years old had sex more than four times a week.
“It seems that as couples age, the frequency of sexual intercourse generally decreases,” says sexologist Sh. Howard. However, based on such studies about the sexual life of older people, she adds: “Age is just a number!”
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Lauren Fogel Mersy, psychologist and certified sex therapist, adds:
“All aspects of our sexuality can change as we age. Arousal and orgasm may take more time, desire may decrease, and the frequency of sexual intercourse can certainly decline, especially as relationships mature over many years. Of course, this does not happen to everyone, but it is quite common.”
How often should married couples have sex?
There is no ideal number of times each married couple should have sex.
Each couple’s needs and desires vary depending on their personal preferences.
“The frequency at which a couple should have sex is the frequency they agree upon considering their individual needs and level of sexual desire. There is no one-size-fits-all solution,” says L. Fogel Mersy.
She adds: “I avoid recommending a specific number because it won’t fit a large portion of people. When people use statistics to determine their frequency of sexual intercourse, it encourages so-called performance sex – when people just go through the motions to check it off.”
Still, Sh. Howard notes that a 2015 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science showed: couples are happiest when they have sex about once a week.
Relationship happiness decreased when couples had sex less than once a week, but it did not increase if couples had sex more often.
“It seems the magic number that helps maintain positive sexual well-being in relationships is once a week,” says Sh. Howard.
