Every evening, around 10 p.m., Amanda Coates kisses her husband goodnight and goes upstairs to sleep. But while the 38-year-old woman drifts off to sleep, her husband Dennis stays downstairs and cozily spends time with another woman, according to The Sun.
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And Amanda is extremely happy about it. This is because the other woman is her best friend, 29-year-old Victoria, and this trio has maintained a three-person relationship for five years.
Dennis enjoys the best of both worlds: although Amanda and Victoria’s relationship does not go beyond friendship, he sleeps with both of them, and all three even share one bed. This unconventional family is raising eight children together; seven of them live under one roof – in a five-bedroom house in North Carolina (USA).
It was Amanda herself who encouraged 38-year-old Dennis to pay attention to her younger best friend. “Dennis and I never go to bed together – I go to bed early because I’m a ‘morning person,’” Amanda says. “Tori stays with Dennis. I appreciate her for that because I’m not a ‘night owl’ and I fall asleep if I try not to sleep past 10 p.m.
I don’t have any negative feelings or emotions about him staying overnight with her. We share one bed, so both of us sleep next to him every night.”
These unusual relationships began after Victoria went through a difficult period following a divorce. Amanda, who had been with Dennis for 13 years at the time (five of those married), offered her friend to stay with them after she separated from her former partner. She wanted to give Victoria a place where she could recover, but soon began to think that her best friend could also become a great partner for her husband.
Amanda says: “Tori was going through a tough time in her life, and she deserved to be treated with love and kindness. I encouraged Dennis to seek her attention and knew she would be interested in him because he is a wonderful man.”
Amanda and Dennis had previously discussed the possibility of having an open marriage, but the idea never went beyond talk. Everything changed when Victoria moved in with them. However, Amanda admits that at first it was hard for her to watch her husband grow closer to her best friend. She says: “Dennis and I talked about such a scenario many years ago, but it never went beyond words – until I met Tori. At first, it was hard for me because she is wonderful and beautiful; it seemed like she had all my best qualities and more, so why would my husband choose me over her?
But we all learned to openly talk about our feelings and comfort each other. Our life is great, and I wouldn’t want to change anything.”
Amanda and Victoria consider each other best friends, even though both have relationships with Dennis. Amanda says: “Victoria is my life partner (even though we are heterosexual), my other half, my best friend for life. I really enjoy living together like this. Dennis never gives preference to one of us and doesn’t make either of us feel secondary. They have their relationship, Dennis and I have ours, and Victoria and I have ours too, just without physical intimacy.”
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Amanda admitted that it was hard for her at first when her husband and Victoria slept together for the first time, even though she herself encouraged their relationship. She recalls: “I still needed time to come to terms with it when he told me about that first time. But now there are no awkward or unpleasant moments left. We are a family and I can’t imagine life any other way.” After five years, their family is raising eight children. Amanda and Dennis are raising Aylah (14), Sophia (11), Barry (9), and Mary (3) together.
Victoria has a nine-year-old daughter Madilyn from a previous marriage, and with Dennis she is raising three-year-old Liam, two-year-old Valyrie, and eight-month-old Ellie-May. Amanda’s oldest child – 21-year-old Johnathan (from previous relationships) – already lives separately. The adults openly talked with the children about the family model. Amanda and Dennis even asked their biological children if they would want Victoria and Madilyn not to live with them. But the children answered: “No, we want them to be here.”
Amanda says that now the children consider Victoria a second mother and Madilyn their sister. She says: “All the children are treated equally. Sometimes I forget who gave birth to whom because they are all equally our children.” Amanda states that communication is the most important factor helping this unconventional family function smoothly.
She says: “We are a team and choose to act as a team. Our family’s well-being is a shared priority. Our husband is the head of the family, and Tori and I are equal corners of the triangle. We equally make decisions related to child-rearing and household chores.”
When ten people live in a five-bedroom house, Amanda admits that family life can be chaotic and money can sometimes be tight. Still, she adds that three adults mean there is always someone to share the burden.
She said: “We’d rather share space than be alone. If we worry about something or feel tension, we talk about it no matter how uncomfortable it might be.” Amanda says that Victoria has also become an important source of emotional support: “She is my partner on a different level than Dennis. He can say as many times as he wants how beautiful, smart, or funny I am – and I know he’s not lying – but it sounds different coming from her lips. She is my voice of reason, someone I can completely trust.”
Dennis says that life with two partners and eight children has changed him as well. He explains: “I have become more patient, and my well-being in dealing with chronic pain has improved – all this happened with two wives and eight children. There is always something to do with all of them – both women and children. But I love them all.”
Although Amanda understands that this lifestyle is not for everyone, she insists she would not change anything about it. She adds: “All three of us want what is best for each of us and for the whole family. This is our life, and the family’s well-being is the most important.”
