Growth coach Asta Raudonienė warns against making hasty decisions and explains what really happens in our heads after rest and how to distinguish a temporary shock of returning to work from a career dead end.
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What happens when we return from the beach to “Excel”?
The desire to quit work immediately after returning from vacation primarily arises due to a sudden biological and emotional change inside us.
“During vacation, due to new experiences and rest, the brain receives a lot of dopamine, and the level of the stress hormone cortisol drops. Therefore, upon returning to the office, a sudden shock occurs. The brain interprets this sudden discomfort not as a return to the usual routine, but as danger or an unsuitable environment, which triggers a defensive reaction: ‘I need to run away from here – change jobs.’ And we mistakenly take this as a sign that we need to change jobs,” says A. Raudonienė.
Moreover, in the daily work routine, the brain operates in “firefighter mode” and solves short-term challenges. The emotional distance gained during vacation allows seeing the long-term perspective – looking at one’s daily life from the outside, which is why many experience shock upon returning to the office.
“A detached person finally sees the whole picture and starts asking themselves uncomfortable questions: I devote a significant part of my life to work, but am I really doing what I want? Vacation acts like a mirror, showing the gap between how we feel while resting and what we become when we return to the desk. If that difference is too big, a natural desire to quit everything arises, although often what is really needed is not another job, but simply a healthier relationship with the current one,” emphasizes the interviewee.
Hoping to find vacation calmness at work too
The cause of tension arising after returning from vacation is often a suddenly revealed mismatch between the desired lifestyle and the current work pace.
“Often during vacation we feel energetic, creative, but at work we feel stress and exhaustion. During rest, a person re-experiences what it means to have time for family, hobbies, sleep, and a calm coffee. Upon returning, a value conflict arises: work begins to seem like an obstacle to living a full life, rather than a means to create it,” says A. Raudonienė.
This state is further intensified by the so-called replacement illusion, where the desire to maintain vacation calmness is confused with the need to change the workplace. According to the coach, a dangerous self-deception often arises here, that a new job will automatically solve inner dissatisfaction.
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“If you leave your job but do not resolve your relationship with yourself, your boundaries, and perfectionism, you will simply carry the same behavior pattern and fatigue to the new workplace. Before updating your CV, it is worth doing a simple test and asking yourself: if your salary increased by 20 percent today, would your well-being at work fundamentally change? If not, the problem is not money or fatigue, but the relationship with work itself,” emphasizes A. Raudonienė.
Wait or leave? Signals that will help decide
According to the coach, making a decision to leave work in the first weeks after vacation is risky, so it is important to distinguish the momentary return shock from a real dead end.
“The body experiences adjustment stress during the first two or three weeks after vacation. If after a few weeks you get into the rhythm, it is just acclimatization. But if a month has passed and the first email you read instantly creates tension, that is no longer a transition phase but a chronic signal from the body about an unsuitable environment. If you increasingly think ‘I need to endure’ instead of ‘I want to,’ if you feel anxiety on Sunday evenings, and at work you feel you give more than you get, this can be considered a danger signal,” says A. Raudonienė.
She also says it is necessary to understand whether the cause of the problem is the work content itself or simply poorly managed resources.
“Ask yourself what you really want: to rest from the workload or from the activity and people themselves. If you just want to work fewer hours, the problem is burnout and lack of boundaries, which we usually carry to the new workplace as well. But if even the best possible scenario at the current workplace after several years causes boredom or rejection, it means you have simply outgrown this place and it is time for a change,” emphasizes the coach.
Distinguishing the true need to change jobs is helped by imagination exercises that allow looking at the long-term perspective. The coach suggests doing a 5-year test that helps clearly see your true desires.
“Close your eyes and imagine that your job, responsibilities, manager, and salary do not change for the next five years. If the first second you feel relief and calm, it means you are in the right place, you just need to gradually set boundaries and rest. But if anxiety or the desire to run arises, that is a signal that your resources are depleted and you need to make a decision faster,” concludes A. Raudonienė.
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