Many people start thinking about a will only in older age or when there is a specific reason. A public opinion survey conducted by “Empty Cages” showed that currently only 8% of Lithuanian residents have made a will. Another 35% say they are considering doing so, 38% have not thought about a will, and 19% do not consider making one, according to a press release from the discussion organizers.
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Not a deathbed act, but a will thinking about others
Psychotherapist Eugenijus Laurinaitis believes that one of the main reasons why it is still difficult to talk about a will is its direct connection to our own death.
“Death is generally a taboo in our society. We can talk about abstract death, but when the conversation turns to my specific death – that I will leave and that it needs to be dealt with – it becomes very difficult. People tend to ignore unpleasant things specifically for themselves: accidents will happen to everyone, just not me, misfortunes will happen to everyone, just not me, and death will come to everyone, just not me,” says E. Laurinaitis.
Making a will is also complicated by the need to decide very specifically to whom and what we want to leave, while accepting that our choices will not necessarily please everyone. “We want to be good to everyone, but that is impossible. You have to be prepared that someone will be satisfied with my decision, someone will not. But this is my decision and I accept it,” notes the psychotherapist.
E. Laurinaitis suggests looking at the will from a completely different perspective – not as preparation for death, but as care for those who remain after us.
“The positive thing first of all is that by making a will I think about those who remain. I do not think only about myself – I think about what will happen after me, who will continue my care for others. The will is not called the last will for nothing – through it a person shows what they think and want,” he notes.
For E. Laurinaitis, this topic is not just theoretical. He says that he and his wife made wills when they were about 55 years old. “We thought about the people around us, and personally it did not cause me any strong emotions. It was not a deathbed act – it was an act of will, thinking about others,” says the psychotherapist.
A topic that you always want to postpone
Opinion leader Fausta Marija Leščiauskaitė admits she has thought about making a will many times, but this topic is still not easy for her. “I hope it is far away, but it has definitely been considered many times. At the same time, it is scary. It is postponed,” she admits.
According to F. M. Leščiauskaitė, her daughter born two years ago also changed her attitude towards what it means to leave something behind. “Today, I care less than ever about what I will leave behind as my memory, and more than ever about what I will leave to my child. Both materially and what kind of world I will leave her,” she says.
F. M. Leščiauskaitė thinks that the idea that making a will is a complicated, bureaucratic procedure requiring a lot of legal knowledge or preparation may also deter people.
“Although making a will in Lithuania is not complicated, to me it has something complicated – a trail of institutions, documents, formulations. Many people fear bureaucracy. If making a will were communicated more as ‘one, two, and it didn’t hurt,’ maybe we would have a slightly different picture?” she says.
Equally important is simply talking about this taboo topic. F. M. Leščiauskaitė reminds that ten years ago many people felt similarly uncomfortable admitting that they visit a psychotherapist.
“For topics to become normal, we need to start talking about them ourselves. If each of us included questions in conversations with friends like: ‘Have you made a will? Why? How?’ maybe the topic itself would eventually stop seeming so uncomfortable,” she says.
So that important work does not stop
Animal protection organization leader Gabrielė Vaitkevičiūtė has already made a will. She decided to leave her legacy to her sister and the non-governmental organization she currently leads.
“The process at the notary was very simple – it took about fifteen minutes. Everything was clear and uncomplicated. It took longer to decide to whom I want to leave my property than the will-making itself,” shares G. Vaitkevičiūtė.
According to her, the decision to allocate part of the legacy to the organization did not come from a desire to be remembered, but from the understanding that changes in the field of animal protection require a lot of time.
“The most important thing for me was the understanding that the fight for animal protection will not be short. To achieve victories in this field, time, persistence, and continuity will be needed. Including support in the will seemed to me a simple way to ensure that even after my life, animal protection in Lithuania would strengthen, that the fight would not stop,” says the animal protection organization leader.
With her choice, she also wanted to show that a will does not necessarily mean a categorical decision either for relatives or for the organization. A person can decide how to distribute their property and what part to allocate to family, and what part to the organization or another important cause.
“It is primarily an invitation for the person to think about what is important to them and what should happen to their accumulated property in the future. A will can take care of relatives and at the same time allocate part of the property to work in which the person believes. In this case, the legacy becomes a way to preserve what is important to us and allow our values to live on,” notes G. Vaitkevičiūtė.
There is no “right” age for a will
Lawyer, senior legal advisor at the law firm “Constat” Girius Ivoška says that one of the most common reasons people hesitate is the mistaken belief that a will made once is a final decision.
“Any competent adult can make a will. The most important thing to know is that it is not a document carved in stone for life. A will can be changed, supplemented, or revoked at any time if a person’s life circumstances or decisions regarding the disposition of property or money change,” says G. Ivoška.
For this reason, he says, there is no need to wait for older age or some unknown time when a person will feel finally decided about their whole life.
“If today a person wants to leave part of their property to a non-governmental organization, and in the future their attitude changes, maybe new family circumstances arise or another organization becomes more important to them personally, the will can be updated. Therefore, there is no reason to wait for the ‘right’ age. The right time is any day after reaching adulthood,” explains the lawyer.
If a person dies without leaving a will, their property is inherited according to the order and rules established by law. “When a person does not express their will themselves, it is replaced by general legal rules. Therefore, for those who want to make decisions themselves, a will is the clearest way to establish that will,” draws attention G. Ivoška.
