First, it is not as rare a phenomenon as we think. About 20% of children suffer from various sexual abuses by the age of 18. One in five. That is tragically many.
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Second, we need to teach children to recognize inappropriate behavior towards them and what to do then.
The main things that reasonably reduce the likelihood of a child suffering from sexual violence:
The child must know the anatomical names of the genital organs. It has been observed that abusers avoid children who can name the genital organs by their real names (penis, vulva).
Safety rules: no one has the right to touch your private parts, you cannot touch other people’s private parts. No one has the right to show you their private parts, and you must not show them to others (exception – if a doctor needs to examine. But the doctor must warn, ask, and a mother or father will be nearby).
It is not enough to talk to the child about this topic just once. Talk often. It is important. Present various situations. There are also various books, worth having.
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Teach the child to trust their feelings. The feeling that something is unpleasant, uncomfortable, that another person asks or demands something inappropriate, is a compass that helps to navigate this big and confusing world.
Introduce good and bad secrets. A good secret, which is fun to have and eventually reveal: for example, we made a cake for dad and will give it on dad’s birthday morning. A bad secret is when something bad happens, it is unpleasant for us to keep that secret, it weighs on us. It is necessary to tell mom or dad about bad secrets.
How to act if someone behaves inappropriately – run, get away, say STOP.
This in no way means that children are to blame for the violence they experience. They are not to blame. But if we can reduce that one in five number even a little bit, it is worth it.
This post was published on the Facebook page of psychologist psychotherapist Milda Kielė
