With very personal experiences, the woman openly shared in a public conversation held at the Imanuel Kant Public Library Melnragė branch of Klaipėda City Municipality, as part of the event series “People – Lighthouses of Klaipėda.” It was here that Asta recalled a painful divorce period when it seemed like the ground was slipping from under her feet. “I was losing my mind and didn’t know what to hold on to,” she admitted. At that time, her sister extended a helping hand, suggesting a visit to the Pakutuvėnai monastery and assuring her that it was a place of peace where Asta could also find relief.
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Having gone there, Asta planned to stay only briefly but ended up staying for a whole week. In Pakutuvėnai, the woman experienced a true emotional breakthrough. She remembers how, standing on a hill where three crosses stand, she poured out all her accumulated pain.
“During all those ten days I was there, I didn’t sleep, only cried. It was the hardest period of my life. I remember even starting to scream: why, God, why? So ugly and angry,” A. Stašaitytė shared her painful memories. After coming down, she approached the monks who were eating in a distant outdoor kitchen. Although Asta was convinced that no one heard her outburst of anger, the monks’ calm reaction and the question they asked – “Well, did you have a talk?” – became the first step toward spiritual healing.
With the help of the monks, the woman says she did not convert, as she claimed she had never turned away from faith or changed religion, but truly revived it. According to her, her previous relationship with God was based on fear, and the monks in Pakutuvėnai helped her understand that the key word is love.
“Discovering a living God was such a joy for me, such a discovery, to always be in conversation with Him. I gave Him all my pain, all my vulnerability, and it felt good to know that I am so loved,” she said.
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Now Asta looks at the pains of the past with completely different eyes and considers that nothing happens in vain. Just as the illness she experienced in her youth eventually led her to television, the hell of divorce may have been necessary for her to find a living connection and many sincerely believing people.
“I didn’t even know there were so many deeply faithful people – not just officially, not only at Christmas. I even got to know them by their eyes. It’s such a gift that… what can you do, let the divorce be. If I get such a great gift for it – I agree,” the woman did not hide her reconciliation with the past.
The inner peace found is also reflected in the woman’s completely new activity. Currently, Asta works at the Christian Aid, Charity and Support Fund “Donum,” where she holds the position of project manager. Here she meaningfully applies her journalistic experience – together with the team, she creates documentary video interviews with Lithuanian dissidents, persecuted freedom fighters, priests, and monks.
“My team and I quickly record everything – I do video conversations, interviews with dissidents,” A. Stašaitytė spoke about her new daily routine. The main goal of this initiative is not only to immortalize the stories of these often little-known people to the wider public in video recordings but also to publish books about them in the future.
