This experience brings not only anxiety or financial pressure. It touches the very core of a person: identity, self-esteem, relationships, sense of security, it can cause shame, anxiety, confusion, and sometimes a question one does not want to say out loud: “Who am I now that I no longer work?”
Why job loss shakes deeper than we think
Indrė Ambraziūnienė, a medical psychologist and psychotherapist at the Neuromeda Medical Center, emphasizes that job loss can be a very strong, traumatic stressful event causing long-term psychological consequences.
“Job loss is much more than just losing a source of income. For many people, work provides structure, routine, social connections, a sense of achievement, and strongly influences defining their identity (work activity is a very important part of identity). Therefore, losing a job can simultaneously mean losing several important life anchors,” explains the psychologist.
According to her, job loss can strongly affect a person’s sense of vulnerability and security as well as self-esteem. Especially unexpected or involuntary job loss can intensify the feeling that life is less controllable and that something could happen at any time that fundamentally changes the usual order of life. A person may begin to feel more vulnerable not only professionally but in life in general.
The specialist notes that against such experience, negative beliefs about oneself and one’s abilities may strengthen: “I am weak,” “I am unlucky in life,” “I am a failure,” “I am not good enough.” At the same time, the attitude towards the surrounding world may change – the belief may arise that it is less safe, predictable, and fair: “disaster can happen at any time,” “the world is unsafe,” “people can devalue or harm me at any time,” “to survive, one must behave perfectly.”
“Thus, the impact of job loss is not only related to financial difficulties. It can shake a person’s sense of security, control, competence, and self-worth. And it is precisely the loss of these supports that can sustain long-term anxiety, avoidance, depressed mood, and complicate adaptation to a new situation,” says I. Ambraziūnienė.
A person may begin to feel more vulnerable not only professionally but in life in general.
However, she emphasizes that not every job loss becomes a psychological trauma or leads to a mental disorder. Much depends on how a person evaluates the event, what resources they have, how much social support they receive, and how much they feel able to control their subsequent actions.
When profession becomes a measure of value
“When introducing ourselves, we first say what we do, and profession is often related to our sense of competence, status, and usefulness. Therefore, losing a job can bring up the question: ‘If I no longer work, who am I?'” notes I. Ambraziūnienė.
She stresses that it is dangerous to identify one’s value with professional achievements because then the objective fact “I lost my job” can be interpreted as “I am a failure,” “I am useless,” or “I am inferior to others.” Such thoughts can strongly affect self-esteem.
The psychologist reminds that job status is not a measure of a person’s worth. After all, a person can be competent, interesting, a loving partner, a caring father or mother, a good friend, and a valuable member of society regardless of whether they currently have a job.
“Often it is simply good to be with a person regardless of their achievements. We choose friends not because they belong to a particular profession. Despite the fact that achievements can sometimes impress, deep connection with people is usually based on something else,” says the specialist.
How job loss affects relationships and family dynamics
According to I. Ambraziūnienė, financial insecurity can increase tension in the family: “A person may become more irritable, more withdrawn, less willing to communicate. Sometimes there is shame about not earning at the moment, so the person begins to avoid conversations about money or their future. They may avoid any communication or openness altogether. Then openness and connection decrease. When withdrawing due to experiences related to job loss, other family members may feel abandoned, unimportant. This especially affects children, their self-esteem, and emotional development.”
The psychologist notes that the partner may also worry about the family’s financial situation, so both sides experience stress. Conflicts may arise not only over money but also due to changed role distribution at home. There may be a need to change responsibilities and duties in the family, but new rules are not yet smoothed out, tested, or accustomed to, so both sides may experience dissatisfaction.
However, she notes that a crisis can also strengthen family bonds if loved ones can talk openly, do not blame, and allow the person to maintain dignity and a sense of independence. Enduring a difficult period together can strengthen the sense of connection and mutual trust. It is also an opportunity to get to know each other better. Sometimes during such crises, unnoticed family members’ resources emerge: the ability to support, endure, dare, and respond creatively.
Read more Hungary leaves the regulation under which conscription-age Ukrainians are granted asylum
Experiences of older people
According to I. Ambraziūnienė, job loss in older age can be especially painful because a person may think that due to age it will be much harder to find a new job. Such thoughts can reduce motivation to try to look for new opportunities at all.
“Also, in older age, there may be more financial obligations or little time until retirement, so job loss can be perceived as a threat not only to current but also future financial well-being. A person may worry whether they will have enough funds, whether they can maintain their usual standard of living, or whether they will become dependent on relatives. Such thoughts can greatly increase the feeling of insecurity,” shares the Neuromeda specialist.
Job loss in older age can be especially painful.
Besides financial insecurity, she mentions a life stage and identity crisis. A person may lose a long-held routine, colleagues, social role, and the feeling of being needed. If work has been one of the main areas of life for many years, its loss can raise questions: “What will I do now?”, “What is my place?”, “How am I useful?” The thought that a person has become unnecessary, written off, or no longer has a place in society can be especially painful. Such beliefs can encourage a person to withdraw from social life.
“However, sometimes the opposite can happen – a person who has lost an important social role and communication may begin to strongly seek the attention of loved ones, demand their constant presence or involvement. In such cases, it may be harder to maintain healthy boundaries in relationships, and loved ones may face additional emotional burden,” says the psychologist.
She also points out the loss of daily activity. While working, a person naturally has a certain daily structure: getting up at a set time, moving, commuting to work, communicating with colleagues, performing tasks. Losing a job can suddenly make all this disappear. In older age, long-term passivity and social isolation can negatively affect not only emotional well-being but also physical health, energy, and overall functioning.
I. Ambraziūnienė emphasizes that it is very important not to form the attitude that an older person’s capabilities are automatically lower: “Accumulated professional and life experience, problem-solving ability, expertise in one’s field, and an extensive network of professional contacts can be significant advantages. Age may pose certain practical challenges in the labor market, but it does not by itself define a person’s professional or personal value.”
Usually, by then children are grown, so there is more time, perhaps also motivation to pass on experience and knowledge to others. Often in older age, with wisdom, competition becomes less relevant, and there is more desire to share one’s resources beyond personal interests and leave a positive mark on the world.
Why it is hard to talk about job loss
“Job loss is usually not an area one wants to boast about. Often several feelings operate simultaneously. A person may feel shame, especially if they interpret job loss as a personal failure. And shame is one of the hardest emotions. It encourages impulses to withdraw, hide, and increases feelings of loneliness. Guilt may arise: ‘I could have tried harder,’ ‘maybe I did something wrong.’ Also, avoidance of talking about job loss may be supported by fear that others will judge them as less competent or successful, reject them, or not want to have dealings with them,” explains the Neuromeda psychologist.
According to her, social comparison also contributes to avoidance of talking about one’s situation. Seeing others working may lead to thoughts that everyone is moving forward, but I have stopped. On social networks, this feeling can be even stronger because we usually see others’ achievements, not their failures and difficulties.
I. Ambraziūnienė emphasizes that job loss is not a moral failure, although the person often experiences it that way. In our society, work is often associated not only with income but also with responsibility, independence, competence, status, and personal value. Therefore, a person who has lost a job may begin to evaluate themselves not by what objectively happened but by what they think this event says about them: “If I was fired, it means I am not good enough,” “If I couldn’t keep the job, it means I am an unsuccessful person.”
“However, job loss and a person’s worth are two different things. Job loss is an event, not a moral judgment of a person. A person can lose a job due to company reorganization, economic situation, manager’s decision, staff reduction, changed business needs, or many other reasons that do not at all reflect their value or character as a person,” explains the psychologist.
Even in cases where job loss is related to certain professional mistakes, it does not mean that the person is a failure or a bad employee. A mistake or failure is a fact of behavior or situation, not a person’s identity. One can acknowledge their mistakes, learn from them, and at the same time not conclude that they are less valuable because of them.
“I think it is very important to remind a person that their worth does not decrease with the termination of an employment contract. Work is one area of a person’s life, but it does not define the whole person: their relationships, values, ability to care for others, creativity, experience, personal qualities, and many other things. Such a perspective can help reduce shame and provide more psychological space to seek solutions instead of devoting all energy to self-blame,” says I. Ambraziūnienė.
Read more Barbora Seiliūtė spoke for the first time about her relationship with famous parents
