Sweetening Audra’s Confession – Orphanages, Homelessness, and Developmental Disorder: “No One Believed I Would Rise from the Bottom”

Sweetening Audra's Confession – Orphanages, Homelessness, and Developmental Disorder: "No One Believed I Would Rise from the Bottom"

On phone screens, Audra smiles widely and radiates positivity, but she had to go through a lot to reach this stage. From the age of 3, she grew up in the Alytus baby home, and at seven, she was transferred to the Žolynas children’s home in Vilnius. There, she was noticed by one of the women working at the “SOS Children’s Village” and became Audra’s guardian. However, this did not yet guarantee a stable life.

“After moving to the ‘SOS Children’s Village,’ I lived in a family made up of an ‘SOS mother’ and other children who ended up in the home. At that time, there were twelve such houses where children were cared for this way. Up to seven children lived in one family,” Audra recounted.

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Gretos Skaraitienės / BNS nuotr./Audra žavi savo atvirumu

The forty-year-old woman did not hide that she was a difficult child – her development was delayed, which also meant that Audra perceived and did some things differently than others. She found it hard to fit in with healthy children, and she also felt somewhat out of place in the class for children with disabilities where she studied.

“Every year, various tests were conducted, and at some point, it was noticed that my development began to progress. Then I was allowed to study according to the regular program, but that meant that at 14, I was moved to the 5th grade. After eight years, I was sent to Radviliškis. The first year there was very, very difficult for me psychologically,” she recalled in an interview with Žmonės.lt.

Audra was allowed to return to Vilnius once a month, and she awaited this event like the biggest celebration. She always specifically chose the last weekend of the month so that the thought of the trip would help her get through.

“The ‘SOS Children’s Village’ didn’t have much money, and a round-trip ticket cost about 40 litas, so I could visit Vilnius only once a month. I saved that pleasure for the end of the month, so I knew all month that there was still something to look forward to,” Audra smiled.

In Radviliškis, she completed hotel staff courses, but this specialty scared Audra – after all, she had to keep up a fast pace. The ‘SOS Children’s Village’ offered to accommodate her in independent living homes in Naujoji Vilnia, but the idea of another institution did not appeal to Audra either. So, at a crossroads, she chose to separate from the organization.

“I wanted an independent, self-sufficient life, not just to change institutions. I remember the thought came to me to go to Šiauliai to a friend. So I just went to the bank, withdrew some money, and that was it. I lived in Šiauliai for two years – without any income or work. A friend just helped me,” Audra revealed to Žmonės.lt.

Gretos Skaraitienės / BNS nuotr./Audra žavi savo atvirumu

Life without a home and a life-changing meeting

Returning from Šiauliai, Audra no longer had anything in Vilnius. Since she had refused help from the “SOS Children’s Village,” they could no longer assist her. The only shelter for her at 24 years old became a homeless shelter.

“At that time, no one believed that I could ever live a normal life. For two years, I wandered from one homeless shelter to another – changing them every six months. I knew them all; I had hit rock bottom,” Audra spoke completely openly.

At that time, she no longer maintained contact with her former guardian, and when asked about her real family, Audra revealed that she had seen her biological mother only once in her life.

“When I was eleven, my brother found me; he visited me for a while later and even invited me to Trakai for the summer. From him, I learned that my mother was often at the Konarskis market. We went there with my brother and found her sitting by a dumpster, completely drunk. And I was very afraid of such people, so I didn’t approach; I stood about five meters away and watched. My brother cried, and I asked to leave. It was summer, and she died that autumn,” the woman told the painful story.

Audra never saw her father and knows only as much about him as is written on her birth certificate – his name and surname. Besides her, there were three other children in the family – all grew up in difficult conditions, and the eldest brother has already died.

“I know that one of my brothers is homeless, another lives in social housing and has problems with alcohol, so there is no contact. If we meet, he immediately asks me to buy him a bottle… And I don’t want that,” she said.

Audra’s life gained new colors when she met the then head of “Caritas,” Linas Kukuraitis, who offered her to come and stay at their homeless shelter.

Gretos Skaraitienės / BNS nuotr./Audra žavi savo atvirumu

“Caritas” offered to start attending “Agape” courses. This was a social project aimed at helping women who had not worked for a long time return to the labor market. There were motivational courses, psychologists worked there, and after three months, practical training began. I chose pastry courses, thinking it would be easy and that I would just spread chocolate on buns. But I faced challenges; I was even afraid to open the fridge. I thought, how will I open the fridge in a strange place and take something out? I had complexes for a long time,” Audra confessed to Žmonės.lt.

After gaining skills, the woman started looking for a job. At first, she worked four hours a day – from 7 to 11, cleaning a library. Then she returned to learning social skills, and now she works full-time as a dishwasher and creates content for social networks.

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Independent stage and social networks

Standing on her feet, Audra began looking for ways to live independently, but finding housing was not so easy. Although everything seemed fine at first, when meeting landlords in person, they refused to rent the apartment.

“Those developmental disorders are somewhat visible on me; it is very noticeable that when I go to inspect an apartment, the owners watch closely. For example, there were cases when I inspected an apartment, both sides were satisfied. But in the end, they said not to rush with the decision and to inform them tomorrow, and an hour later, I received a message that they chose another tenant,” she recalled and added that she finally managed to fulfill her dream of renting an apartment with the help of a broker.

Gretos Skaraitienės / BNS nuotr./Audra žavi savo atvirumu

Audra lives completely alone in the apartment, and when asked about her feelings, she did not hide that she never felt the desire to find a partner.

“I don’t even have that instinct that others sometimes get sooner or later, that it’s time to find a boyfriend. I have never had it and never had a relationship,” Audra told Žmonės.lt.

However, for communication, the woman only needs to pick up the phone and turn on the internet. There, thousands of supporters await her, who look forward to her posts every day and actively ask her questions. And she even receives comments from well-known people. However, she recently deleted her “TikTok” account with 41 thousand followers and is currently focusing only on “Instagram.”

Audra Kiaulevičiūtė, who captivated thousands
Audra žavi savo atvirumu
Audra žavi savo atvirumu
Audra žavi savo atvirumu
Audra žavi savo atvirumu
Audra žavi savo atvirumu
Audra žavi savo atvirumu
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Audra žavi savo atvirumu
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Audra žavi savo atvirumu

“There was nothing beautiful left on TikTok, and part of that number consisted of those who sincerely disliked me. Maybe numbers used to matter, but now I know it’s better to have fewer but real people. On Instagram, everyone supports me, and even Katažina Zvonkuvienė writes, and Naglis Bierancas. And I even became friends with Skaistė Semenikė. I never had such friendships before; it seems that communication with people was just formal, but now I meet her for coffee and just to be, and that means a lot to me,” Audra rejoiced.

Sometimes, the woman still receives an insulting comment or two, but she claims she no longer worries about it. Besides social networks, she has other hobbies – she is interested in technology, computer games, colors books, and when possible, plays bowling or even basketball.

“I used to feel stressed when someone used one of my photos or edited a video for their posts, but how much can I fight with everyone? In the end, no one hurts me anymore,” Audra Kiaulevičiūtė said firmly, concluding the interview with Žmonės.lt.

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