If you want to try new ways and take pleasure to a higher level, we can help. YourTango experts were asked about the most common mistakes women make that can reduce pleasure during masturbation. Here’s what you should know to make self-pleasure even greater.
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1. Don’t rush
Mistake: rushing to experience orgasm.
What to do: slow down the pace. “Masturbation is a great way to reduce stress and get to know your body better,” says Jaclinne Cheng, founder and CEO of Spicy Lingerie. “Although orgasm is wonderful, get to know and enjoy your sensuality, not just focus on experiencing pleasure as quickly as possible and returning to other daily tasks.”
2. Make it a special event
Mistake: not giving yourself enough time to enjoy.
What to do: maybe you feel shy or have only 10 minutes before leaving the house, but in any case, give yourself as much time as you need for pleasure. “This means creating a pleasant and comfortable environment,” says Bethany Ricciardi, sex expert at Too Timid. “Light candles, take a warm shower or bath, wear something sexy, and play music that arouses desire. In other words – seduce yourself! Creating a mood conducive to relaxation and pleasure is important for women when masturbating.”
3. Get rid of pressure
Mistake: trying to turn masturbation into a substitute for sex.
What to do: masturbation inevitably differs from sex. J. Cheng says it’s a great opportunity to try new things, better feel your body, and find out what you like: “Try exploring sensitive areas of your body to enhance sensuality, use various pornographic content and lubricant, see what you like specifically. When you get to know your body better during masturbation, not only will your sex life improve because you’ll know what you want, but also your relationship with yourself.”
4. Use sex toys
Mistake: using only fingers.
What to do: if you haven’t tried yet, you can try a beginner-friendly vibrator. “If you thought you experienced strong orgasms with your fingers, you’ll like this new sensation,” says B. Ricciardi. “Vibrators provide more intense stimulation, which can help experience multiple orgasms. When starting to use a sex toy during masturbation, it’s best to take your time and find out what speed suits you best. Using a sex toy on your own can also help you better understand which toys you’d like to include in your sex life with a partner.”
5. Try something new
Mistake: using the same vibrator for years.
What to do: try new products. There are hundreds of different sex toys on the market that vary in shape, size, and other features. “Whether you use a small vibrator for clitoral stimulation or a double rotating vibrator that stimulates both externally and internally at the same time, try new things,” says sex educator Kenna Cook. “Over time your body changes, and so does your sexual response. Get to know yourself as you change.”
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6. Try pornography
Mistake: being shy to use pornographic content that arouses you.
What to do: not all of us have a vivid imagination that can easily create the right mood. “There are many different materials that can help make masturbation a more pleasurable experience. Try reading an erotic novel or watching your favorite passionate sex scene from a movie,” says J. Cheng.
7. Try anal stimulation
Mistake: never trying anal stimulation.
What to do: it’s not for everyone, but the anus is quite sensitive to touch – including your own touch. “Many women enjoy stimulation of this area during masturbation,” says B. Ricciardi. “It’s best to start with fingers or anal sex toys. I think it’s easiest to try it first together with clitoral or vaginal stimulation, but anal stimulation can also be tried separately.”
8. Use lubricant
Mistake: forgetting lubricant.
What to do: lubricant is not only for sex with a partner. “My main advice – the more moisture, the better!” says K. Cook. “Lubricant reduces friction in the genital area, which can enhance pleasure, especially if you masturbate the same way for a long time, in the same position, and stimulate the same body part.”
9. Change the environment
Mistake: always staying in bed.
What to do: changing location can provide new sensations. B. Ricciardi suggests trying different furniture or other items at home. “Don’t be afraid to lie on your stomach and move against an object to stimulate the clitoris. Rubbing against the corner of furniture can work! You can also try a pillow – it can be rolled or bent to create a firmer base and pressed against the clitoris. My favorite option is a detachable shower head, which you probably thought was only for washing hair. Direct it to the intimate area and let the water flow stimulate the nipples or clitoris.”
10. Train pelvic floor muscles
Mistake: doing nothing to strengthen the vaginal muscles.
What to do: maybe masturbation became boring because you never changed anything about it – including muscle strengthening. “If you want longer and stronger orgasms, try Kegel exercises!” says B. Ricciardi. “They strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, so the contractions experienced during each orgasm can be stronger. Pay attention to your body – a few squeezes can make these orgasms ten times better.”
