In August, Lithuania was shaken by news about new crimes allegedly committed by two priests of the Lithuanian Catholic Church.
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However, pedophilia and sexual abuse and violence are not only a Church problem. Often such crimes against children and youth are committed or attempted by other adults who are respected in public and whose reputation is unquestioned.
One case from his past was recalled and described on his “Facebook” page by 15min journalist Vidmantas Balkūnas. With his permission, we share the post.
“How I was sexually abused in my adolescence and why I didn’t want to talk about it. It was not a priest. It was a respected town doctor.
I write this so that others can better understand how this can happen and what causes the reluctance to talk and tell.
I grew up in the provinces. Where authorities matter. I was about 14-15 years old when a good friend asked me to keep him company to go to the clinic. He needed to “get” a medical certificate that he “could not” write a test or exam.
“This doctor is good. He helps all students with ‘excuses’ when they have a hangover or are unprepared for exams. He always issues a certificate,” my friend explained and went into the office. I stayed sitting in the corridor.
After a while, he stuck his head out and said – come in! Of course, I went in without asking. On the table stood a bottle of “Napoleon” and glasses. “Work is almost done. Shall we drink?” the doctor suggested. And the brandy glasses started to go around.
I felt uplifted. I, some shepherd boy, was drinking like a man with a man with the respected town doctor! I felt cool. I didn’t even notice how the three of us drank that bottle. I have no idea how. Now I think I probably hadn’t even drunk spirits before that. And even now, that amount would be a challenge.
But then, it seems, I felt nothing. Although at first it was “would you like a glass?”, we didn’t even notice how the bottle became empty. “The work is really done now. I still have some Grant at home. Let’s go to my place.” The town is small, about 10 minutes on foot to his home. Let’s go! Such an opportunity!
Drink with the doctor and even at his home! This will be cool! I was already imagining how I would brag to others about it.
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On the way to the doctor’s apartment, my friend unexpectedly “washed his hands of it.” He came up with some reason, which I no longer remember, and left us alone. Although I had never communicated with the doctor before, I somehow felt nothing bad. It was just strange that he separated. But at that time I was uplifted and suspected nothing.
Upon entering the apartment, a bottle of Grant immediately appeared on the table in the living room. While the doctor was fussing in the kitchen, I (as I still do) first went to inspect the bookshelf. There weren’t many books, but I found one album I hadn’t looked through. I took it out and sat on the sofa to flip through it.
Soon the doctor sat down very close, touching me. Supposedly to look at the album together. But after a few moments, he hugged me, pressed me closer, and turning about a span away from me, I saw his face with his tongue coming out of his mouth and his eyes half-closed…
I jumped back as if scalded and immediately ran to the door. In the background, I still heard something about “there’s nothing bad here,” “you’ll like it,” or something like that. Everything was already like in a fog. He didn’t chase or stop me.
Afterwards, I told only a couple of friends about it, but I never told anyone the doctor’s name. My logic was “Why ruin the doctor’s life?” It seemed that by telling, I would do something bad to him.
About 30 years have passed since that incident. During that time, I never met him again. As far as I heard, he died a few years ago.
It somehow didn’t shake or change my life. I just looked at it as another unusual incident and experience.
I’m glad I had the courage to run away. It’s a pity I didn’t have the courage to talk right after. I have no doubt that if I had done so, I would have at least somewhat protected children and adolescents.”
In the comments under this post – many other people shared stories about inappropriate behavior of adults from various professions towards minors.
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