Adolescence is a very important stage of social and emotional development. During this period, young people learn to create increasingly independent relationships, resolve conflicts, respect others’ boundaries, and take responsibility for their words and actions. However, some teenagers try to solve problems differently – by rejecting friends, sending hurtful messages, or other statements. One such message was shown to the specialist by a teenager hurt by her 12-13-year-old best friend.
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What is the goal?
“Conflicts, anger, or disagreements in teenage relationships are a natural part of development, but bullying, threats, or calls to suicide are not normal communication, and we adults should never normalize this. Such messages are a form of psychological abuse and can have very serious consequences, so they should always be taken seriously,” says V. Aniulienė.
The interlocutor states that it is difficult to accurately determine a teenager’s feelings or personality from a single message, and such a statement does not necessarily mean long-held hatred. Sometimes it is an impulsive attempt to hurt another person as much as possible, arising from anger, jealousy, humiliation, rejection, revenge, or fear of losing one’s status in the group.
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Others may wonder – could this be a gap in parental upbringing? “It is inaccurate to automatically conclude from such a teenager’s behavior that they lack love in the family or that the parents are raising them poorly. A teenager’s behavior is shaped by the interaction of many factors – family relationships, temperament, mental health, peers, past experiences, and social environment,” emphasizes the psychologist – psychotherapist.
Not seeing another person’s face, tears, or body reactions, a teenager may feel less the impact of their words.
